Subject: 21 Economic Models explained with Cows

2008-11-10

Subject: 21 Economic Models explained with Cows

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk..

NAZISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and
then throws the milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies,
and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has
dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed
company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the
bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so
that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The
milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual
report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You
sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you
with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public
then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the
roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever
cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are. You decide to have
lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and
learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows
and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners
for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you
have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the
newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy….

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and
go for a few beers to celebrate.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive