2008 August 23 | Between Asgard and the Western Paradise

Archive for August 23rd, 2008

Aug 23 2008

If the Olympics were in Israel

Posted by: 阿偉 in Current Events

If the Olympics were in Israel — and note that I do say if, for obvious reasons, how would the media react? Since Israel is considered an important strategic ally of the United States, I would not hesitate to say that the representation of different events would be much more positive. Below, I’ve given a few examples, intended as satire and for entertainment purposes only, to illustrate how the a portion of the media might portray some of the so-called scandals thus far.

China: “Chinese government officials went through desperate measures and deliberately altered and falsefied the video of the fireworks in the opening ceremonies, misleading millions of unaware viewers across the world.”

Israel: “Israel’s computer engineers, graphic designers, and other artistic technicians were able to use advanced technology to re-create the impressive fireworks display during the Opening Ceremonies, thus allowing the world to partake in enjoying another aspect of Israeli creative ingenuity in the field of CGI technology. Dedicated experts used advanced CGI techniques to re-enhance the original footage, for a spectacular end product.”

China: “Communist Chinese officials stripped a young girl of the opportunity to sing, while forcing another to lip-sync to enhance the government’s reputation.”

Israel: “Israeli organizers decided to allow a more creative and artistic interpretation of last night’s singing of ‘Hava Nagila’. In a last minute decision, a compromise was reached by the Olympic Organizing Committee, which allowed Deborah Goldstein to stand in for the voice of Ilana Silverberg. Many news agencies around the world are praising this change, as it allowed both girls to be recognized for their immense talent.”

China: “Children were forced to dress in native minority costumes to legitimize China’s brutal repression in Tibet”

Israel: “Israel made further steps toward promoting world peace by featuring Orthodox Christians and Muslims in their opening performance. Actor Henry Rosenthal, who portrayed a Palestinian said, ‘This is a great opportunity to tell the world that there are no human rights problems in Israel.’ Commentators noted that authentic Orthodox Christians and Muslims could not be secured for the performance due to concerns over terrorism.

China: “Stands were filled with fake spectators because of the effectiveness of human rights activists to boycott the Games”

Israel: “The Bureau of Sports and Recreation, which helped the Israeli Government organize the Olympic Games, generously donated thousands of tickets to local Israeli Jews, including the children of Holocaust survivors, to allow them to come and glimpse a portion of one of the world’s greatest sporting events. Original ticket holders, unfortunately, could not attend because of the threat of Islamic terrorism, which the Israeli government is attempting to deal with.”

China: “China brutally cracked down on pro-democracy activists in Tiananmen square just hours before the Olympic Games, and threw out native Chinese activists in an effort to suppress dissent.”

Israel: “Israeli security forces peacefully removed potential terrorists waving Palestinian flags from the Olympic Complex. Also, because of security concerns, some anti-Israeli reactionary elements, including the so-called “Palestinians” were evacuated and strategically re-deployed to England and the United States for the duration of the games. This move was made for their own safety. Free speech will still be allowed, in designated “Public security zones” during the games, however, as long as it conforms with Israeli Law.

China: “Chinese government officials forged passports and issued them to underage children to illicitly gain more gold medals in the Olympic Games”

Israel: “Israel’s top sporting agency, in conjunction with the Israeli government, recently provided clear, updated, and unmistakable evidence that their gymnasts are not underaged. Uriel Pollack, a representative of the sporting agency in Israel urged viewers of the Olympics that this was not an issue. Abraham Foxman has also supported the Israel gymnasts, saying that further questioning of the Israeli competitor’s ages would constitute anti-semitism.”